Blind Words
I understand that it only takes a few letters to form a word and a few words to form a sentence and a few sentences to form a paragraph. What I don’t understand is how to protect myself within the folds of these pages.
You used to read my mind better than me. You could tell me the colors of each word before they were even spoken; their forms and their meanings. One thousand thoughts and one thousand times I could have said something. So, I put the thoughts in your head and I put the words in your mouth.
How do I help myself? Shine a blue light on me because seeking courage is not all it’s cracked up to be. What would be the full intent of such an increase in the value of life? Ubiquitous and blind, it’s all a crushing waste and it cheapens our lives to think such a small careless moment of misunderstanding could uproot the strongest friendship. Now it decays with each passing day. Turn your head away cowardly as I do and become sightless as I am. True freedom is eclipsed by all that has not been said.
A hysterical fury of creation rises but my feet remain bound with this mortal strain. Dawn breaks and with blinking eyes the entrance of hell appears. I’ve been blotted out of your brilliant pure and frightened mind but once the darkness is gone, you’ll see that I am still here. Turn your face to the light and regain your sight and admit we are eternally anchored.
You may shudder in horror at how my life rides on a broken wing, always crossing the threshold of distraction too. You must think I always have troubled thoughts but from the bottom stirs an awakening. One step and no more than one will take us to a false rationalization. I shrink sometimes from my secret dread and I am still startled by all the destruction.
If you wanted me to pay for everything that went horribly wrong then I think you owe me change. Another breath of pain is wasted on your sole delight. You could make this less hard to bear by lightening your hatred for me and unburdening your soul. The third reason is a little more difficult to understand. If you rediscover the past, it will come back to you. This hatred is a great enemy and it will destroy whatever we had. There are 33 judges spending the rest of their lives secretly wishing for this to be over but who also have the difficult task of selecting the winner.
