Don’t obscure your individual
I hope you reach a place in your life that you never knew existed and you find balance there. Be strong enough to move ahead and feel no need to bow your head to the past. No one holds any power to make you feel inferior any longer except your alter-self. Throw that plastic doll away. She will no longer be used to measure yourself against.
Now that you are free, step back and take a good look at yourself inside. Each of us was granted a mind and the ability to know what is right or wrong, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. We try to fool ourselves with our addictions telling our alter-selves that the tiny jewels in the crown are enough for our happiness than wanting the actual crown. Don’t fool yourself again convincing yourself the jewels are enough. They are mere shards and will certainly eventually cut at your soul as you settle. Be careful not to nap. I once slept for 5 years.
You will and may have already lost yourself doing things for others that you believe bring you happiness and joy but not equalness. What is the value of your sacrifice? Do you know? Is a crumb sufficient when you actually deserve the universe? Has anyone told you that lately who you believe? Save yourself and be safe in the distance from the grasp. Have you lived up to your own values and expectations that you set for yourself?
I wish you could see her as just another friend but I know you can’t help but see what you know. You know the long and early hours are not right. She will do her business and she will go away and she will come back here next week and she will tell you things again. There is a closed sign on your door and what is worse is you wear it proudly.
I heard you speak with your mind’s eye today. Your past sometimes greets you. How much do you stand to lose if you continue to hide safely from your own voice? Eventually, too many cracks in the vase and it will surely shatter.
I will listen for now but I don’t have to peer so far into the future to see you lose your voice. I’ll watch you fall, trying not to stop you. That is out of respect. Do you ever wonder if you’re giving too much of your generosity and it might be taken away? Let’s write your butch fairy with all our questions. How should you be and how should I be your friend? We don’t want to obscure your individual.
“You gave a piece of yourself to your family”
“You gave a piece of yourself to your girlfriends”
“You gave a piece of yourself to a rock star”
“She took the good stuff and ran” ~ unknown with my edits…
